I first learned about PROMIS clinics in the summer of 2015 when I first decided to seek professional help and rehabilitation for my ongoing struggles with substance abuse combined with a lifelong battle with bulimia nervosa. At 27, I had been combatting my illnesses (on-and-off) for over a decade and had tried everything I possibly could to ‘get better’ on my own. Overwrought with feelings of shame and fear, I was living in a deep state of denial for some time before I finally hit rock bottom and had no other choice but to face the reality and severity of my problems. So, at 27 I began my journey of recovery with expert help and individualised care of the PROMIS team at Hay Farm and now, four years later, under the care of the team in London (Kendrick Mews).
It is impossible to describe how my experience at PROMIS has changed and saved my life, so I wrote to the teams to thank them:
As most of you know, I am not often lost for words or short of things to say, especially amongst you all! However, as it were, I find myself struggling to find the words that could possibly convey my appreciation for all your efforts and constant encouragement during my time at Hay Farm. A mere “thank you” somehow seems futile; it is used so frequently and often casually as a common expression of gratitude, however lacking sincerity. “Thank you”, in my opinion, does not verbalise how much of an impact you all had on me, my recovery and my life in general. I remember so clearly how terrified I was at the notion of staying in treatment for 28 days, an entire month to face my disease however painful it would be. I had been brought to my knees for the last time but was reluctant to commit.
Then something happened. I surrendered. I put all my faith and trust in your hands. You challenged me, and I cried. You challenged me some more, and I listened. You challenged me when I needed it most, and I began to change. Over the course of six weeks, I poured my heart and soul into my recovery, and in return, you gave me the support and the tools I needed to rebuild myself and my self-worth. I can honestly say that no one could have ever prepared me for the emotional, physical and spiritual challenges that I faced every minute of every day. No one said it would be easy, but then again, no one can possibly say just how hard the journey of recovery would be either. Through it all, you were there to reassure me that I was on the right path.
I will forever be indebted to the teams at Hay Farm and Kendrick Mews for helping me to surrender completely to my disease, and to accept my powerlessness. I handed you all my control and in return, I unknowingly began to forgive myself and regain respect and love for my mind, body and spirit. With your help, I finally put down my mask and have since become acquainted with my true self (and it turns out, she’s not so bad!).
You are a fantastic team of people, more like a family, and I wouldn’t be where or who I am today without you.