How to Confront an Alcoholic and Help Someone Seek Support
When someone you know is struggling with alcohol misuse, it can be tricky to navigate the topic. Some people may be defensive about their situation, while others may be in denial or genuinely unaware of the extent of their problem. Let’s look at how to confront an alcoholic properly in this article.
How to Start the Conversation About Alcohol Use
One of the first steps in confronting someone with a drinking problem is to start the conversation with them gently. It’s always important to carefully choose your words because alcohol can make someone more emotionally volatile.
Prepare for the Conversation
Slowly realising that someone you love needs to get help for alcohol abuse can be heartbreaking. Even you may not want to acknowledge the problem. So, if you’re planning to confront an alcoholic with their drinking issue, then it’s best first to take a step back and reflect on your own feelings and concerns.
Don’t worry. It’s normal to feel nervous about the situation. The outcomes can be unpredictable, so preparing mentally and emotionally can help you feel more ready to face the problem. When preparing for the conversation, practise what you want to say. In some cases, writing a script or taking down notes can help you stay focused.
Choose The Right Moment
Offering support to someone with alcohol problems requires choosing the right moment. With the right time and place, you can have a more productive and respectful conversation about the issue at hand.
It’s crucial to wait for someone to be sober before starting the conversation. Discussing alcoholism while a person is under the influence or experiencing a hangover can worsen things. Additionally, choose a quiet and private environment to discuss the issue.
For instance, you may want to discuss the problem after dinner when you are both relaxed, or during a walk in a quiet park, away from others. These settings can create a safe space for both of you during the confrontation.
Use “I” Statements
Using “I” statements when helping someone facing alcohol abuse problems can help you sound less accusatory and more concerned. These kinds of statements focus on your own feelings and experiences rather than blaming the other person.
An example of an “I” statement to use when confronting someone with alcohol problems may be “I feel worried when I see you drink because I’m concerned about your health.” This kind of statement highlights the concern with their behaviour, rather than their character.
Be Specific and Supportive
A specific and supportive conversation about alcohol use disorder has more impact. It can also increase the likelihood that your loved one will acknowledge their drinking problem and consider seeking help.
Vague comments can be confusing, so try to mention specific situations where you were concerned about their drinking. For instance, you can mention how your loved one appears to be drinking more after work. Or, you can talk about how you were worried when they drove after having a few drinks. These direct statements convey your concerns.
Stay Calm
During emotional moments like these, remember to stay calm. A calm demeanour can help maintain a safe environment and dialogue between you and the person you’re helping. Staying calm helps reduce defensiveness and promotes respectful communication.
To help you stay calm during the conversation, use a soft and even tone. Avoid raising your voice and speak slowly when talking to your loved one. Since these conversations can be heavy, pause when needed. If you feel yourself getting upset, it’s okay to take a step back and breathe, allowing you to collect your thoughts.
Gently Encourage Them to Get Alcohol Treatment
Once they have acknowledged their problem (which may take some time), then you can gently encourage your loved one to get treatment. Be gentle when doing so. Instead, raise the idea in a supportive and hopeful way.
You can start by recommending that they attend support group meetings, such as those offered by Alcoholics Anonymous. Helping them look for reputable therapists and addiction specialists nearby can also encourage them to seek support for their issues.
How to Care for Yourself When Helping an Alcoholic
Dealing with an alcoholic can be exhausting since you’re constantly trying to gauge another person’s emotions. This is why it’s important to learn how to care for yourself. Self-care practices, such as exercising and healthy eating, can help you stay grounded during this time.
Support groups, such as Al-Anon, can also provide a safe space. These groups can connect you with a community of people who also understand what it’s like to have a loved one struggling with alcohol addiction.
Additionally, seeking support from a professional can also be extremely helpful. They can help you view the situation objectively and develop effective approaches to the problem, while also setting healthy boundaries and protecting your emotional well-being.
Other Tips for Supporting Someone with Alcohol Problems
The journey to supporting someone to full recovery can be long and emotional. If you’re in this situation, here are some tips to make the situation easier:
- Educate yourself about alcohol use disorder so that you’re better equipped to offer compassionate support.
- Set boundaries and avoid enabling boundaries by being firm on what you’re willing to tolerate.
- Don’t cover up for their mistakes or make excuses for their actions when intoxicated.
- Celebrate progress and small victories along the way.
- Be patient and remember that setbacks are a normal part of the recovery process.
Find Alcohol Addiction Treatment for a Loved One at PROMIS
If someone you care about is struggling with alcohol misuse and is ready to take the next step to recovery, PROMIS is here to help. We know how emotionally challenging it is to try to overcome alcohol use disorder. As such, we provide empathetic support every step of the way. Reach out to us to explore different treatment options and learn how we can help you and your loved ones live a more fulfilling life.
