How to Help an Alcoholic: Getting Help for Someone’s Alcohol Use
It can be painful and confusing to see someone you care about struggle with alcohol addiction. Oftentimes, you might not know what to say or do when trying to help them overcome the problem. With your support, however, you can make a difference. Let’s take a closer look at how to help an alcoholic in this article.
How to Confront an Alcoholic
Confronting someone who’s struggling with alcohol can be scary since you don’t know whether they’re going to be open to the conversation or defensive about the problem. When approaching this situation, it’s essential to come from a place of care. Frame your concerns in a way that you’re worried about your loved one’s well-being instead of accusing them of bad behaviour.
Confrontations should also occur in a calm and private setting, allowing both parties to feel safe. Waiting until your loved one is sober is also very important when bringing up the conversation about their alcohol problem. Also, try to plan what you want to say ahead of time, so you can clearly express your concerns.
Even if the first talk about alcoholism doesn’t lead to change right away, it’s still the start of a long journey. You were able to bring up the problem, and this can slowly influence your loved one to consider the impact of their drinking.
How to Help an Alcoholic in Denial
Helping someone in denial about their alcohol problem requires you to understand why they might refuse to admit the problem. Denial may be a defence mechanism for your loved one. They may continue to deny their problem due to the shame and guilt that come with admitting it.
When you’re trying to help a loved one in this state, it’s incredibly challenging to convince them to see your point of view. As such, remember to use non-confrontational language. Share your observations and avoid ultimatums unless safety is at risk.
You might not be successful in helping a person in denial about their alcoholism right away, but it’s a step towards showing them that you’re genuinely concerned about them.
How to Help an Alcoholic Friend
You may feel helpless and frustrated when trying to help a friend with alcohol problems. Sometimes, you may have even watched them turn into a version of themselves that’s unrecognisable and deeply upsetting. In this situation, always remember to approach it with compassion and focus on what you’ve observed, rather than blaming others.
To help a friend, you can offer to listen to their problems. This can help you gain a deeper understanding of what they’re truly going through. If possible, offer to help them find resources, such as therapists, support groups, or treatment programmes that can point them towards the right direction.
Don’t feel guilty about not being able to help your friend right away, especially if they’re not open to support. At the end of the day, once you’ve done your best, your friend’s recovery is ultimately their responsibility.
How to Help an Alcoholic Spouse
Trying to help a spouse with an alcohol problem can be heartbreaking since you’re watching the person closest to you go through a possibly destructive struggle. There may be times when you’re unsure whether to help them or prioritise protecting your own heart.
When helping a spouse with alcohol addiction, it’s important to remember never to blame yourself for their behaviour. Many partners feel guilty about their husband’s or wife’s drinking, wondering if they could have done something differently.
If your spouse has acknowledged the problem, you can help them find rehab and treatment options so that they can take the first step to recovery. If possible, you can also accompany them to their first few consultations and sessions so that they feel more comfortable and less alone throughout the process.

How to Help an Alcoholic Who Doesn’t Want Help
If a person doesn’t want help, but you still want them to stop drinking, then it can leave you feeling powerless. Dealing with an alcoholic who doesn’t want help can make you frustrated or even resentful.
When this is the situation, try not to nag your loved one to go to treatment. Instead, focus on creating a safe space where change feels possible and not shameful. You may also share how their alcohol use has personally affected you, so that it doesn’t feel like you’re controlling their behaviour.
It’s also important not to enable your loved one’s behaviour if they refuse to receive help. For example, if they get into trouble because of their drinking, don’t try to clean up their mess for them. Sometimes, recovery will only happen when someone realises, on their own, that their actions have serious consequences.
Other Tips for Helping Someone with Alcoholism
Here are some other tips to keep in mind when trying to help a loved one with alcohol addiction:
- Educate Yourself: Learning about alcoholism, its effects, withdrawal symptoms, and more can better equip you to support your loved one and set realistic expectations.
- Be Patient: Recovery from alcohol addiction doesn’t happen overnight. It’s essential to be patient and recognise that setbacks may occur at times.
- Find Support: Support groups like Al-Anon provide support for family and friends of those with alcohol addiction. Finding a therapist you can trust and talk to during this challenging time can also be helpful.
- Take Care of Yourself: Don’t lose yourself in trying to help someone else. It can get emotionally harrowing, but remember to take care of yourself. Eat healthily, stay active, and engage in activities that bring you joy.
Get Help for Alcohol Use Disorder with PROMIS
Seeing someone you care about struggle with alcohol addiction can be unbearable. Addiction is painful not just for the person going through it, but for their families and friends as well.
Here at PROMIS, we provide compassionate and comprehensive treatment for alcohol addiction. Our team knows the importance of addressing all aspects of addiction for long-term recovery. If you’re ready to receive treatment, we’re here to guide you through the process.